If you ever hear me say that men and women should be treated the same, in every aspect, by society, call me a hypocrite. I am what you would call an independent woman, but you will never see me changing a tire. Does that make me dependent? Does that make me weak? I don't think so. I won't make my dad sweep the floors. Does that mean I'm submitting to the status quo? I don't think so either. When we, women, ask for equality, we're not asking our men to lose their manhood. Quite the opposite, actually, we would very much like them to keep it. We just want to be equal in what matters.
1. I no longer want to see a job posting asking the candidate to be a man as a top requirement. What on earth does that say about us? We're in the 21st century, people. Get over it. A woman and a man holding the same degree should be able to get the same types of jobs, making the same amount of money and getting their rights to the last bit. I also don't want to hear anyone telling me that I can't be a surgeon (or any other "smart people job" for that matter) because it's a man's job. I can be whatever I say I can be. I've heard the wisest of people tell me that they won't go to a woman surgeon because they don't trust her abilities. I guess I gave them too much credit when I said they were the wisest of people.
2. I no longer want to hear that Lebanon, possibly the most modern country in the region, doesn't have a rape and abuse law that reflects its respect for women. How can anyone even fathom that a man raping his wife is not a crime? How can anyone allow a man hitting his wife for breakfast, lunch and dinner to be free to do as he pleases? How can anyone in their right mind think that it's ok for women to be quiet when they get raped because society will blame them for it?
3. I no longer want to hear my friend, frightened by a stalker, telling me that she would not call the police because they will not take her seriously. Yes, police officer, we do talk a lot, but when we call you to report a sick stalker who's threatening to kill us, we're not trying to waste your time, nor are we enjoying chit chatting with you. We're simply scared.
4. I no longer want to see a woman marrying a Lebanese citizen just because she wants her kids to be Lebanese. As a woman, I want to be able to marry whomever my heart chooses regarless of his passport. How is it fair that my friend who has never been to Lebanon, does not speak a word of Arabic and does not know one thing about the Lebanese culture gets to be "Lebanese" because his dad is, but if I marry a non-Lebanese citizen, live in Lebanon, speak to my kids nothing but Arabic, feed them nothing but Mediterranean cannot give them my citizenship because I'm a woman?
When we ask for equality, we're not asking for your manhood to be taken away from you, nor are we giving up our feminism. We just want to be respected, listened to and protected; just as you are. When we ask for equality, don't you dare turn it into a religious issue, because it's not. If I get my rights, I'm not getting them as a Christian or as a Muslim, but as a woman.
This blog is important and enlightening. It is easy for those of us in the West to forget that things that we take for granted (like it is illegal to advertise a job for men only) is not the norm. This is especially true for countries like Lebanon which most people in America consider to be liberal. I was really surprised that citizenship is only granted to children of male citizens! Fix that one first.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that in the USA we do recognize that husbands can rape their wives, but actually prosecuting that is not so easy and most of the time the crimes go unpunished. This under reporting, along with domestic abuse, can be attributed to cultural shame, which happens here just as it does elsewhere.
Having said all that, you do really need to learn to change a tire, kill a spider, and grill meat (in America for some reason men tend to cook over fire while women cook in the kitchens). After all, you can never have too many superpowers and you are a maverick!
Jacqui, thank you so much for your comment! I, too, took things in the US for granted. We have a lot of work to do here.
ReplyDeleteI did know that sexes were not fully equal in the US, but I didn't know that prosecuting a male raping his wife was difficult!
:) I'll be working on those!