It's a sad thing really when you learn a life lesson from a friend's misery, but I guess you gotta learn somehow. My very unique friend loves this very unique guy and they have this very unique relationship. It's so unique that only they can understand it. Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs, but this one's downs overrule the ups.. By far. She describes it as "kisses and smiles". I mean come on, who wouldn't want that. But when the smiles fade and the kisses become nothing but kisses, what's gonna hide the downs? Does she go on functioning on nothing but kisses and smiles? Or does she put an end to this "fairytale" before it gets harder to put that last period in that last chapter.
There are definitely two schools of thought and they both deserve some careful examining. I have met countless people who genuinely believe that they can make it work with literally.. anyone. Not to take anything away from them, but seriously, how?
And then I've met others who truly believe in a soulmate. In THE One. What's ironic though is that those same people (and I'm definitely guilty) get frustrated when things don't go smoothly with their partners. When I'm in a non-functional relationship, I do nothing but whine about why it's so imperfect. But now that I'm taking an outside look at it, why would it be? I really think that we take love for granted. Maybe that's the wrong term but what I'm trying to say is that we expect it to just be perfect, every time, and it shouldn't be. If it did, then there wouldn't be "THE One", there would just be a bunch of "ones" all over the place. Ones that we can keep breaking up and making up with just for the few moments of happiness amidst ages of misery.
I believe in a soul mate - someone out there meant to be with me. I hope I get my shit together by the time he meets me! haha We are all really just the same, we want attention, love and a companion. Boyfriend or best friend, sometimes it doesn't matter. "short-term, long-term relationships" I like to call them. You know you aren't going to be together forever but the smiles and kisses are nice. No fairytale usually just mild obsession is what I see in most of my friends! (& myself included of course) What do you think Rita? Would you be in a relationship with someone just for the kisses and smiles?
ReplyDeleteBut I think you can believe in both "schools of thought" as you call them. You could believe in a soul mate and make it with anyone, right? Maybe that's me!!
Well Rita,
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed...again as I had the time to have a closer look!
i feel i need to say smthg here.
Love is OVER RATED! Blame the fairy tales, blame moveis, blame disney, or just accept it!
Do not get me wrong, love is wonderful, but the rules and dwefinitions out there are only there to bring the shit out of it and out of every relation synchronized with it- as a term at least- for a couple of weeks/months or years (though very controversial).
Its just too good to be true... to fall in love, that 'drive u nuts' moments, and moments they will stay as much as they repeat or regenerate but forever is what is too much to ask from love, from one person, or even from urself! it work out... yes sure, but plz, call it smthg else, a leap into faith or just admit...its a 'yeah..whatever, lets not comlicate, we doing fine...look at others, so so'. Did i make my point?
Muwaten, I really appreciate your respnse. However, I'm going to have to disagree with some of the things you said. Do soap operas, Disney, novels overrate love? Perhaps. Although overrate is not the word I would use. I think they simplify love. They make it seem easy to find, easy to maintain. I don't think the love they speak of is inexistent though. I can't but believe that it does happen. Not always, not with everyone but it happens. When I see old couples (some in my family) still as in love as they were when they first met, if not more, I have to believe that it is possible for love to last forever.
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