A Message From Women to Men Around the Globe.

Dear men around the globe,
 
Before you read on, please know that women are not completely heartless. We do occasionally feel bad for you. Sometimes we feel like we ask too much of you, confuse you and leave you wondering “what the hell does she want” when, really, we have no idea either. Not too long after that feeling-bad-moment, you do something stupid and make us forget why we felt bad for you in the first place. 

In an attempt to help you understand what we really want, and since it's still a mystery for us too, I have decided to survey several women from different age groups, marital statuses and geographical regions and tried to break it down for you by highlighting common thoughts, requests and complaints. Here we go. 

1. When we’re telling you a story, it’s because it means a lot to us not because we want to fill the silence with chatter. So instead of looking all annoyed because of that "noise" that's bothering your ears, perhaps you should pay attention once in a while; you might learn something.

2. When we’re talking to you, please try to listen instead of staring at our boobs. Believe it or not, we prefer eye contact.

3. We know you're not taking notes of what we're saying on your phone, so put it down and give us your full and undivided attention or else we will be repeating the story a few times. 

4. Everything is NOT up to you. We have a brain that we’d like to use too. Picking a place to eat, a movie to watch or a place to go is not rocket science, we can handle it.

5. Showing off your stuff is not that attractive. Cut it. Leave some room for us to compliment your new convertible car, top notch phone and designer sweater because if you do it yourself, you have absolutely no right to whine about the fact that nothing nice comes out of our mouths; when your ego is off the hook, we try to bring it down a notch by insulting you. Don't take it personal.

6. When we're at the mall and we happen to come across a 10,000$ watch, please refrain from saying "oh that's cheap". We both know it’s not. That's a lame comment that won't get u any points.

7. If we want to be with you, trust us: you’ll know. However, when we ignore you the first, second and third time, please get the hint; we would like to live peacefully and comfortably and surf our social media accounts without bumping into a comment, poke, tweet, message wherever we look. It does come off kinda stalk-ish.

8. Unfortunately for you, “I love you” is not a password to get what you want. Stop using it like one.

9. When we happen to bump into your friends, can you please not wait till the end of your conversation to introduce us? We would very much like to NOT feel uncomfortable the whole conversation waiting to be acknowledged. It's rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate.
 
10. If you're my boyfriend, and you've consciously and freely agreed to being in a relationship with me, I sure hope that you trust me. So can you please leave my phone alone and quit checking every incoming and outgoing message?
 
11. PMS does NOT stand for Pissy Mood Syndrome and does mean that we get mad over nothing out of nowhere. So no, it is not your best friend and you cannot use it as an excuse to every issue.

12.  We’re all busy but still manage to make time for you. So when we ask you if you have any plans tonight and you don't, we better become your plan. Anything else you say will translate into "I don't wanna see you" in our heads. 

13. When you call at 2:30am, don’t get mad because we’re not overly excited to hear your voice. We tend to be asleep at that time. So do most normal people.

14. Maybe you should all get together and decide on a definition to the word "easy". While you're at it, why don't you all agree that a girl showing you that she likes you is not part of that definition. 

15. So u wanna date the smartest girl you can find then you do all that's in your power to prove that you're smarter than her? What exactly are you hoping to accomplish? 


16. When you dish it, please be prepared to take it. Those smarta** comments that you throw at us and that we graciously take will one day be thrown at you. We expect you to accept them with an open heart

17. If we happen to call you by a guy’s name (God forbid it’s an ex’s) please don’t flip out. It happens. It doesn’t mean anything and we would have still been with him had we wanted him

18. Don’t turn everything we say into something perverted and then get frustrated because we don’t get it. Our brain, unlike yours, is strategically located in our head. Not below our waist.

It is important to note that we take the above very seriously and so should you. Follow it to the dot and your life will be so much easier, otherwise, don't you dare complain about the consequences.