Backlash: A response from a reader to "A Message From Women to Men Around the Globe"

Dear men around the globe,

Before you read on, please know that women are not completely heartless. We do occasionally feel bad for you. Sometimes we feel like we ask too much of you, confuse you and leave you wondering “what the hell does she want” when, really, we have no idea either. Not too long after that feeling-bad-moment, you do something stupid and make us forget why we felt bad for you in the first place. 

In an attempt to help you understand what we really want, and since it's still a mystery for us too, I have decided to survey several women from different age groups, marital statuses and geographical regions and tried to break it down for you by highlighting common thoughts, requests and complaints. Here we go.

Dear Rita and her beloved blogees,

(I will not address this to all the women in the world like you did with men, I wouldn’t want to fall into the fallacy of over generalizing everyone and I do indeed believe in individuality).
Before you read on, please note that no one believes that women are completely heartless. We do believe you have heart, and if we don’t, we have you to remind us every day. You might feel like you ask a lot but we do ask for the same. We respect and expect a certain standard of equality and understanding. You said it right when you stated “you don’t know what you want” hence your strong readiness to write this article to vent your frustration towards your indecisiveness.
“We Do Something Stupid.” Why do you assume that the things we do are stupid? It might be completely correct from an objective point of view, but you interpret things differently. Different does not make things stupid, take yourself out of your body and put yourself in the others shoes. Do you wait for us on the corner for us to do something wrong and use it as a weapon in a future conversation? Because we can do the same, however I believe, I can speak for myself and my relationships with people is that I choose to forgive forget and put the past behind me. 

1. When we’re telling you a story, it’s because it means a lot to us not because we want to fill the silence with chatter. So instead of looking all annoyed because of that "noise" that's bothering your ears, perhaps you should pay attention once in a while; you might learn something. 

“Telling Stories”. It is a fact that when people are talking they are doing so to self satisfy that inner need to express ones opinion. Those listening to that story may not share that very same expression of feelings. You do chatter when you tell stories. You add so much irrelevant detail that clouds my judgment of the actual topic at hand. That is when we lose attention and focus on the big picture. And that is when you call us annoyed and bothered. When I try and tell stories its more to the point. Leave the juicy chatter for novelists. 

2. When we’re talking to you, please try to listen instead of staring at our boobs. Believe it or not, we prefer eye contact.

“When we’re talking to you, please try to listen instead of staring at our boobs. Believe it or not, we prefer eye contact.” – Wait a minute those aren’t your eyes?!
 

3. We know you're not taking notes of what we're saying on your phone, so put it down and give us your full and undivided attention or else we will be repeating the story a few times. 

Talking and Texts. A person can give only so much attention to another in a single day. After the first three calls in the morning the seven during the day and the final few before bed, along with the millions of text messages (thank you whatsapp); We can only remember so much. So my selective memory kicks in. I try and select what’s important and relevant in your stories. Do not worry about repeating the story a few times you’ll do that anyways, whether we remember or not.  You want me to take notes? What for? Do you think that the story of that new bag is noteworthy?

4. Everything is NOT up to you. We have a brain that we’d like to use too. Picking a place to eat, a movie to watch or a place to go is not rocket science, we can handle it.
 

Picking a place out. That would be fantastic if you do. But if your answer to the question “What do you feel like doing?” is “Whatever you like”…. then we’ll handle it or the conversation will go like .. “No.. whatever you like” .. etc

5. Showing off your stuff is not that attractive. Cut it. Leave some room for us to compliment your new convertible car, top notch phone and designer sweater because if you do it yourself, you have absolutely no right to whine about the fact that nothing nice comes out of our mouths; when your ego is off the hook, we try to bring it down a notch by insulting you. Don't take it personal.

You claim men brag about all their “stuff” no pun intended. By stuff our blogger talks about new cars watches and designer clothes. I surely have one question for you? Why are you talking to a guy that has “a new convertible car, top notch phone and designer sweater” if you don’t want him to brag? Or is it that you just want to brag to your girlfriends about how much designer bags your new bag of money can buy? You went way off when you changed the topic and tried insulting the poor guy. He speaks the truth you just want to undermine his word. 

6. When we're at the mall and we happen to come across a 10,000$ watch, please refrain from saying "oh that's cheap". We both know it’s not. That's a lame comment that won't get u any points.

The Expensive Watch. Referring to paragraph number 6, who are these idiots you are dating? Stop seeking looks and wealth and get a little deeper than that. Not every guy thinks a 10,000$ watch is “cheap”. So why are you judging them if your being just as superficial as they are?
 

7. If we want to be with you, trust us: you’ll know. However, when we ignore you the first, second and third time, please get the hint; we would like to live peacefully and comfortably and surf our social media accounts without bumping into a comment, poke, tweet, message wherever we look. It does come off kinda stalk-ish.

Being with Someone. The ignoring game works well. And when a guy ignores a girl, he is suddenly bad-ass and the girl examines her own insecurities to determine why the guy doesn’t want to be with her. Now the girl in turn could lead a guy on for months before she actually admits of not liking him. Is it because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings or does she have any ulterior motives? Ask my good friend William. 

8. Unfortunately for you, “I love you” is not a password to get what you want. Stop using it like one.

Unfortunately love is not always the basis of a relationship. Let us face facts all relationships are based on self satisfaction of ones needs if “I love you” is what you need to hear. Then so be it. What you need to cut down is “Im sorry, (puppy eyes).. I didn’t mean to”
 

9. When we happen to bump into your friends, can you please not wait till the end of your conversation to introduce us? We would very much like to NOT feel uncomfortable the whole conversation waiting to be acknowledged. It's rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Bumping into Friends. Maybe it was an ex that we would like to rekindle that flame with. If we are in the dating stage, you don’t need to know everything that revolves around our lives.

10. If you're my boyfriend, and you've consciously and freely agreed to being in a relationship with me, I sure hope that you trust me. So can you please leave my phone alone and quit checking every incoming and outgoing message?

Trust. No man will go through a woman’s phone just like no man will go through her purse. So stop dating creepy stalkers, and that is no relationship if it is not based on trust. Are you not seeing a pattern here?

11. PMS does NOT stand for Pissy Mood Syndrome and doesn't mean that we get mad over nothing out of nowhere. So no, it is not your best friend and you cannot use it as an excuse to every issue.

PMS.  I have personally gotten many apologies from girls, friends or others, that they snapped because they were PMSing you are giving excuses to your actions we are not basing this accusation from thin air.

12.  We’re all busy but still manage to make time for you. So when we ask you if you have any plans tonight and you don't, we better become your plan. Anything else you say will translate into "I don't wanna see you" in our heads. 

Plans. It is perfectly normal for couples to spend time apart. I have personally witnessed many couples going from being individuals to being a single entity. That is neither healthy nor normal. We do enjoy some alone time, every now and then.  

13. When you call at 2:30am, don’t get mad because we’re not overly excited to hear your voice. We tend to be asleep at that time. So do most normal people.

Calling in the late hours. Well the problem isn’t the late hours it’s the constant need for contact. Morning till Night a thousand messages will go both ways. That’s neither normal nor healthy.  

14. Maybe you should all get together and decide on a definition to the word "easy". While you're at it, why don't you all agree that a girl showing you that she likes you is not part of that definition. 

Easy. No you’re not easy if you express interest. And doesn’t mean I am a player either. But understanding and being clear of your intentions from the beginning will pave way to something better than a week old relationship.  

15. So u wanna date the smartest girl you can find then you do all that's in your power to prove that you're smarter than her? What exactly are you hoping to accomplish?

Power of the Minds. We do want you to express your intelligence. But its only of human nature for the man to overpower you with theirs. Trying to take charge of those around and lead by example. No one wants you to submit. It makes it that much more boring. Let’s keep fighting for that power. It just sparks things up. 

16. When you dish it, please be prepared to take it. Those smarta** comments that you throw at us and that we graciously take will one day be thrown at you. We expect you to accept them with an open heart

Comments. When we comment we tease. We enjoy it and you do it too. You use it to blow our big egos. See your blogging on things that work both ways. Yes I do acknowledge equality and feminism. Surprise Surprise

17. If we happen to call you by a guy’s name (God forbid it’s an ex’s) please don’t flip out. It happens. It doesn’t mean anything and we would have still been with him had we wanted him

Names and calling you by your Ex’s. Your right, just don’t flip out when we call you by another girls name. Be it outside or in bed. I will test that theory and see if girls can control their anger. Let’s see tactfulness then.

18. Don’t turn everything we say into something perverted and then get frustrated because we don’t get it. Our brain, unlike yours, is strategically located in our head. Not below our waist.

Our Brain. We will turn everything perverted. All we think about most of the time is sex. Excuse us if we are wired like that. Women are just into sex as men. I should introduce you to a few friends and they have the dirtiest jokes you can imagine. And by the way I take pride that I can turn anything dirty. Just like Joey on the sitcom Friends. 

Do note that what I said is just my personal opinion. A lot of it was me joking around and me responding to our beautiful blogger. Just trying to keep things alive and interesting, hope you enjoyed it.

Michael Aswad (Follow me on Twitter @MichaelAswad)